If we continue to operate in the ways we always have, we’ll continue to generate the same results. If we want to create a better tomorrow for ourselves, our families, our organizations, and our communities, we have to be willing to disrupt our routines.
This disruption might be focused on small items, resulting in minor tweaks to standard practices. Or the disruption might be focused on major overhauls, looking at system-level changes that help us pivot from where we are to where we wish to be. But the disruption will be the result of leaders intentionally challenging established patterns of thinking and working.
Often, leaders who facilitate growth of this kind are labeled as “fearless.” A fearless leader is just that – a leader without fear. A leader who develops a bold vision for the team and fights for that outcome at all costs. These leaders are aware that there will be collateral damage as a result of their decisions, but they persist anyway, rationalizing that this damage is an acceptable price to pay.
While fearlessness has its place, most leaders are better served by developing their bravery instead. Whereas fearlessness is the absence of fear, bravery is acknowledging the fear and moving forward anyway. Being brave is about embracing grit and determination. But above all else, being brave is about having courage. Courage to say what needs to be said, to do what needs to be done, or to stand alone as an outsider.
Sometimes courage is about saying what needs to be said. While listening to the conversation during the meeting, or watching the e-mail thread unfold, a sense of unease sets in with the realization that something is wrong – groupthink has taken hold, key facts are being ignored, a perspective isn’t being considered – and the choice to speak up or shrink back must be made. In that moment, courage is about challenging the groupthink, reintroducing those key facts, or voicing the missing perspective. Choosing the option to speak is not easy. But it matters.
I’ve personally experienced the tension of being the lone dissenting vote on multiple important decisions over the years. I can vividly recall the feeling in the pit of my stomach as votes were called for and the outcomes declared (“20 votes for, 1 against” and “18 votes for, 1 against”). In each case, I knew I was the sole voice speaking against what was happening. Yet, rather than sit silently and allow the already decided vote to simply play out, I spoke up and shared why I felt these decisions were wrong and in no way in the best long-term interest of the team.
I don’t mind when a decision doesn’t go my way. I understand that thousands of decisions are made every month that impact me and the teams with whom I work. So I tend not to overreact to any given decision. I share this story because in each of these cases (and in so many similar organizational conversations that don’t end with votes but do shape the path forward) I am consistently surprised by what I experience after. It amazes me how many comments I receive in the hallway after the meeting, or by e-mail or text later in the day or week, thanking me for voicing my perspective in the moment and sharing the individual agrees with my stance.
While I am thankful for the validation of my thinking, I also find myself wondering whether a decision by this individual to agree with me publicly in the meeting might have changed the outcome. If a second voice had joined mine, would a third have felt more comfortable? Would a third voice then have chimed in? How many individuals at the table had feelings they elected not to share? And what are the consequences associated with those decisions?
Sometimes courage is about doing what needs to be done. Imagine a scenario in which you need to speak with a team member about their performance. He or she is not contributing at the level they are expected to be and you need to have a conversation about accountability. It will be a difficult conversation. In contrast to the fearless leader’s “consequences be damned” approach to the dialogue, the brave leader embraces empathy as the foundation of a constructive discussion about how to best move forward. Being brave means accepting the responsibility of delivering bad news, acknowledging that you might upset someone, and understanding that you may get yelled, but acting anyway. Ignoring reality does not change it.
Consistently demonstrating courage takes practice. There are no short cuts – no courage vitamins or booster shots to speed up the process. Rather, bravery is about listening to our instincts and acting with courage each time the opportunity to do so presents itself.
One thing that helps me choose courage in the moments I need it is a reminder a mentor shared with me a few years ago. The comment was “It’s critical that you are defined by something other than your job. Our jobs matter…but our value is so much more than that.” This simple statement is a constant reminder for me that my leadership legacy will be defined by my decisions in those moments that offer courage. Given the opportunity to stand up or shrink back, I hope that my children and the others I hold close will choose to be brave, because that’s what they saw me model all along.
Takeaway
Consistently demonstrating courage takes practice. There are no short cuts – no courage vitamins or booster shots to speed up the process.
